| Kurt Donald Cobain, was
born into a tumultuous mid-working class home. At the
tender age of seven, he was abandoned by
his father. This feeling of abandonment, and the subsequent
depression that followed, persisted throughout the life of
Cobain. After a few years in the underground of the music world,
Cobain emerged upon the stage of the world's consciousness,
fronting his band "Nirvana". The band's album "Nevermind" was
heralded as revolutionary and inspiring, by both critics and
fans alike. Life was going well for Cobain, as evidenced in his
satirical drawl, and smugly pleased face that was splattered
upon "Rolling Stone", and "MTV" among other mediums of media.
The music that he made was generally upbeat, though seemingly
confusing. The song "Come as You Are", is a prime example. The
title, taken from the evangelical invitation takes on the form
of both a question and an answer. The beginning lines "Come as
you are/as you were/as I want you to be/as a trend as friend/ as
an old enemy", takes on the form a patriarch (church father, or
birth father), while searing biting
truth about the worthlessness of the congregation. The
"congregation", seems to have been created, by an abstraction of
the author. The refrain sounds like the half-way stifled scream
of an infant. A scream that is stifled by the dimensions of the
infant's diaphragm, rather than its desire to scream. By his
father's act of abandonment, Cobain became unable to assert
himself in a healthy manner. The violent impulses that he felt
towards his father, would then be redirected toward himself. He
was caught somewhere between the "Imp of the Perverse" of his
sub-conscious, and the will to survive that is conscious. As
sick as this may seem, the music was far from the dire, pain
ridden abstractions that would be found on Nirvana's "In Utero".
Debuting in '93, "In Utero" was also
well acclaimed. However, something had changed in both the
lyrics and the music. What had happened in the period between
"Nevermind", and "In Utero" is a matter of great scholastic
debate, though what is certain is the fact that something had
definitely and unalterably changed. The album was sickly and
generously imbued with stark portraits of infanticide i.e.
"Pennyroyal tea", and childhood abandonment i.e. "Serve the
Servants", that stood out and loudly screamed into your ear
amidst a background of masochistic admonitions of failure. In
"Very Ape", he speaks openly of the act of suicide, with a real,
immanent, honesty. "Look on the bright side suicide". He had
taken a dangerous ride to its consummation. He had now absconded
the duties of self-preservation, and resolved to die. Sadly, the
pain seemed too much to bare. He grew away from his family and
his band, and amidst rumors of the band's separation, he may
have loudly taken his life (if it was not Courtney Love, of
course). Not with an overdose, asphyxiation, or an indefinite
act, but with a resolved gunshot to the head. He may have
considered it as finally resolving the trauma that he received
from abandonment, but sadly it came with a price. He did not
find help in relationships, or consultations with friends, and
he left a ballad of musical medleys, which seen as a whole, tell
a story that rivals the greatest tragedy ever written. I wonder
if Claudius feels any guilt. |
